THE INCONCEIVABLE FUTURE

In about a week-and-a-half's time, I am expected to make the most monumental decision in my life to date.  I have to select a university program.  Wanting to stay in town, my choices have been narrowed down to the following three: Life Science at UTSG, English at Ryerson U and Life Science at UTSC.

Since receiving my offers in February, I have been vacillating between science and liberal arts; constantly embroiled in inner conflict.  Do I want to punch numbers in a calculator, yielding the Ksp of a chemical for the next four years? Or would the path of decomposing and analyzing literature be more suitable for me?  Also, there are other factors to consider, such as the amount of scholarship offered, the atmosphere of the school, and the overall calibre of education offered.  These aspects only exacerbated my confusion.

I've always prided myself in being someone with a good sense of direction.  Not to brag, but I've always maintained an uncluttered and organized school-life: keeping up with due dates and toiling for hours over tests.  However, once I was accosted with the daunting task of choosing a career path, I saw my steadfast nature crumble to my feet.  Consumed by confusion and, simply, fear of the unknown, I found it hard to enjoy studying (like I once did).  Do not get me wrong, I still relish in the elation that good marks endow (I guess some parts of you never leave), but I felt empty.  It was not the same as before.  Each time, the glory in excelling in school was promptly squandered by my constant paranoia.

This all may sound petty (and I may be casting myself as a moody, puberty-stricken teenager), but I can't find better a way to describe how I have been feeling.  That is why I have not been updating this blog lately; I wanted to distance myself from the outside world.  I did not want external factors to throw my thoughts even more askew and, effectively, sway my decision.  Thankfully, I find myself a lot more clear-headed now.  It also helps that I have very open-minded parents who are supportive of anything I choose (given that it is legal and moral).  I have not quite reached a solution yet, but I am slowly extricating myself from the turmoil in which I've been entangled.  I'll keep you posted on the situation.

Update: I have decided to study English. All smiles!

COFFEE & THAT TAP TAP TAP

I've returned from my semester-long hiatus. It's been turbulent here on my end, what with University applications and supplementaries.

I'm currently half-way through my March break, which has so-far consisted of the prosaic bio build.  It's a Harry Potter themed model, so I've actually been enjoying myself.  I am supposed to be finishing a supplementary essay right now, but due to its rather bleak topic, I'm forestalling it as much as I can.

I've been drinking a lot of coffee nowadays.  I think I'm developing a reliance on it to fuel my creative endeavors; doesn't sound like a healthy habit to pick up.

By the way, I've received 2/3 of my University acceptances, my first choice among the two.  I'll post the photos later.  The thrill of it died down about three days after I'd gotten them, anyway. 

SIDE BLOG

I have create a side blog, called Vics First Thoughts.  I know I've done this before and all blogs have fallen into disgrace, but this time, I have a solid idea in mind.  It is a blog on which I post raw, creative and silly ideas.

It sounds like a bad concept, but it is rooted from an assignment I did in English called First Thoughts, which was tremendously helpful.  In essence, you write whatever comes to your mind without worrying about anything but content.  It does wonders in cultivating an imagination as it eliminates all apprehension and reluctance you have when writing formally.  You don't ask questions like "is this logical?", "does this make sense?" and "what would old Ermintrude next door think?"  In this exercise, you have no boundaries whatsoever.  It's creative writing run even more amok.

You may have also noticed with the merciless work load of senior year I have not the time to update this blog with good-quality posts.  On VFT, it takes a lot less time to construct a post, so naturally, I will write on it more often.  Therefore, if you are bored and want to read my nonsense, you can hop on over to my alternative blog and amuse yourself with my inane statements.  I'll try to whip up a few photos of Christmastime and post them here if I can.

Thank you and the best of luck to those who share my pain of being in the twelfth grade.